Chuck Grassley: The Senate’s Keystone Kop

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Scene: Outside a major bank in a major city that has just been robbed. The perpetrator got away to begin with, but came back in order to brag to pretty much anyone who would listen that HE had indeed robbed that bank. Yes he did and he was proud of it. Not only is he bragging about it, but the money is in a white canvas bag with $$$ signs all over it. Police have the perpetrator handcuffed and are about to take him away. They only await the official go ahead from Detective Grassley before hauling the perpetrator to a jail cell.

Enter Detective Grassley. 

“Let him go. I can see that this is a good young man who was only trying to help his family. He would never have been tempted if the bank had not let him in the door! My recommendation is to arrest the bank president who failed to stop him at the door.”

Officer Muldoon: “What the hell are you talking about? We have witnesses, we have his confession, we have the evidence. What the hell more do we need?”

Detective Grassley: “That may look bad. But this young man is from a good family. His father has been running into some struggles while trying to achieve some personal success. This young man was merely doing what any good son would do. He saw an opportunity to help and he took it. The bank president knew something like this might happen. He should have stopped this young man at the bank’s door before temptation took over and led to the robbery.”

Officer Muldoon: “Are you nuts?”

Detective Grassley: “Hardly. We have seen many cases recently where good people saw holes in the law or open invitations for them to bad things. And they took advantage of these openings. I believe we can’t blame those who exploited such openings. The blame obviously lies with those who drafted the laws or left items somewhat unprotected. Now release him!”

Officer Muldoon: “But this is wrong!”

Detective Grassley: “And hurry. I must attend to a situation where some poor people are trying to make it legal to steal health care by making those who have worked and accumulated much pay for it. Allowing those who really can’t afford health care to get it tears at the very fabric of our society. I am honor bound to stop this misuse and save our country. But I need to act immediately.”

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Coming Up:

Steve King explains why building a wall against Mexico is so much more important than feeding the poor.

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